Like some here, I too was rooting for the Patriots last night. Don't laugh but I'm a Dallas fan, and they have always been rivals with the Giants. Did anyone notice Mr. Kraft??
Myra Kraft, the wife of Patriots owner Robert Kraft died during the season, and all the players wore her initials on their sleeve. Last night the camera cut to a shot of Robert Kraft looking up at the monitors as the last play of the game unfolded. Did anyone else notice his breath? It appeared to me he was holding it at one point. Then the expression on his face was of someone stunned, then complete release from realizing his team did not catch the winning ball. He then just stood there, just stood there in what seemed like a daze looking straight ahead. This was followed by Mr. Kraft dropping his head, as if it weighed a ton and in sync, he turned to leave the stadium seats.
Though the multitude of expressions on this man's face, in those brief moments, all I felt was pain and sadness for what I observed. I interpreted that frozen state, drop of head and descent, as a complete surrender of not only the game, but of any final public celebration/memory of his late wife. There was such a heaviness. That game will be memorable for me in a completely different.
Perhaps it would have felt different if I were attending the game, but I don’t believe so; on stadium screens one would have seen those expressions even larger. The feelings I walked away with were draped on me like clothing.
Before the game I had a clear plan as to what my meditation practice that evening was going to be. Instead, it turned out not only to be a shorter sit, but the most uncomfortable I’ve had thus far. And although I thought I fell into a very deep sound sleep, it turns out I was exhibiting signs of discomfort through the night…so much so that my partner, so as to not disturb my sleep albeit restless, had to sleep in another room.
At this moment, I neither feel completely rested nor myself. I am resolved, as I often need to be, to accept my space and embrace it with loving kindness. That space being grief. Grief is a crafty emotion, and one I have learned many lessons from. I am going to place intention this evening on mindfulness, body and emotions.
I wonder who or what Mr. Kraft has to rely on. I am so grateful to be awake in my life today, and so grateful to be in this challenge...