Go figure, the day I'm leaving for a week long baking intensive is the day my partner and I have a blow out and, it's the beginning of focusing on my emotional landscape.

Emotions were all over the place: MINE - fear of messing up in baking class, fear of knowing less than others, fear of doing something new, fear of doing something for myself, fear of not being left alone to grow, fear of not being able to juggle both baking and meditation, etc., etc., etc.  THAT'S A LOT OF FEAR FOR SOMEONE WHO IS ONLY FIVE FEET TALL.  MY PARTNER - fear of my growing, fear of his partner being away, jealous (which is another form of fear) because I was doing something different with my life, etc., etc.  These were just some of the emotions swimming in and out of our spaces.  Emotions clashing all over place -- a perfect cocktail for discomfort.

I sometimes think my mind (and body) is just a vessel for my emotions.  They come and go; they spill on me, they spill on others.  And when I sat on Day 16, my emotions attached themselves to images, some of which had nothing to do with real events, just representations.  So how do I meditate when all this is present in my head?  Sometimes it's a difficult, but then I try to focus on what is and just observe it - see myself and others in what's there.  The emotions will either disrupt my meditation or teach me.  I was able to practice week 3's challenge perfectly because I had a lot of material to work with.  And despite the fact that I never raised my voice, I developed a scratchy throat: my throat is where things got stuck.

Day 16 was also the first day of baking class.  And in class I learned about how some ingredients react to one another, and how it is always necessary to integrate other ingredients to create balance, harmony.  Like Cinnamon, meditation is one of my spiritual pantry's staples.  Also, when making an almond paste, it's best if the raw almonds sit for the evening before proceeding.  The outcome for all is much better.