When I woke up this morning…it was a pretty good day….and of course….still is a good day…with various sidebars!!  (and I am not even a lawyer….but my lawyer friend will be proud of me!!)

I was in a pretty good frame of mind…had some cuddles with the mighty Casper-cat (this is a morning must according to the cat….and I like it too)….drove to work….pretty happy….arrived at work….happy.. then work hit….with a vengeance…within 30 minutes…and a bunch of frustrating problems and a very busy day ahead….I am anxious and angry.  Now the cool part…..as I am talking to three people at the same time in my office…..frustrated and angry….expressing my frustration to them about some problems…..I am aware.  I stopped speaking….took a breath….felt the anxiety…..I was aware of my anger.  I looked at them and expressed that to them….that what I was talking to them about was not deserving of the level of frustration I was experiencing/bringing to the conversation….and I smiled.  So we continued our conversation….but now….with a level of calm….dealing with these particular problems.  Then on I go….and it keeps  coming…..one after the other….more issues….and for me…the anger returns….but I am aware of it.  I keep taking a moment to breath…thru the different  situations but  I can’t seem to let go of it…..although I can manage it….I  know that  I need to step away.  I  let my boss know that I am going to go out and do a few things……I need  some space.  Off I go….driving meditation …..and it comes to me…..the anger I am feeling is about me….I am disappointed in myself.  It is about a situation that happened last night…..and I had been caught in the same old habits…. Reacting in the same old ways….and I am angry with myself.  This is what was happening in the office….the problems I was encountering were same old same old….behaviour/habits from other people that don’t change…..and I was caught.  Anyway…..the beautiful part…..was my awareness….stopping….taking a breath….and now….acknowledging…..and offering lovingkindness tomyself…..and to the others…and everyone else who suffer in the same way.

This is why I practice.  It opens my heart….and my mind…..to myself…..and to others.  We are all so connected.    My Sangha…..regular meditation practice….retreats…..this challenge…..are so beneficial to me…..help me to look at my practice.  I am grateful.