You know what I have been noticing in my body when I am sitting (and even at times just whenever during the day) is a tightness and tension in my shoulders. I will be sitting…..breathing in….breathing out…..and notice that my shoulders are practically up to my ears!! I bring my attention to my shoulders…..letting go…..feeling them relax….and go back to my breath. Sometimes it isn’t long before I am noticing the tension again…..so…attention….let go….relax…..breath. This is the most vivid sensation I am noticing when I meditate in my body….I am holding tension in my shoulders….which in turn is moving up into the base of my neck and skull. So I am trying to do some stretching to relieve that.
Today….my sangha held a Day of Mindfulness. We have sitting meditation…walking meditation…..a recorded dharma talk (today it was by Cheri Maples – 10 Practice Tips).. we practice mindful eating during lunch….total relaxation meditation….and dharma sharing with tea and cookies!! Our day for the most part is held in silence and when speaking…practicing right speech. It was really a lovely day. When I woke up this morning….I really felt like I just wanted to stay home….not have to “be” anywhere. I am really glad that I did not decide to do just that. Sharing practice in community….is very nourishing for me. I just stop. Nowhere to go….nothing to do….just be here. Right here….right now. Of course when I am sitting…..my mind has a million things to do. So I come back to the breath. The total relaxation meditation was terrific. It was a recording by Sister Jewel from Plum Village. If you are tired it is very easy to fall asleep during this meditation. Today it was so lovely…..focusing on your body…your hands…arms…feet….legs….eyes…mouth…heart….lungs…and so on…..and holding them with kindness and love for all the things they do for you. I put my body thru a lot and it was nice to relax….pay attention….hold my body in loving kindness. It opens my heart…to me and to everyone.
Open heart…..open mind. When I am open to whatever my experience is…letting go of the anxiety of rejection….being hurt….feeling sad…..not resisting whatever it is….to be with suffering….it opens my heart….a little more….when I can let go of the fear. I have been reading some Pema Chodron lately…..regarding pain…in being with it….it uncovers basic warmth. So I meditate…..do the best I can to be with whatever is…and try to cut myself some slack when I can’t or just feel overwhelmed. That is ok. I am not Wonder Woman…..I am Tracy….here and now….and I am good enough.