I sit down. Body is tense, I relax. Feeling as if I am in a dream, I attend to my breathing. I see different thoughts; I notice different feelings - anxiety, frustration, worries. I see that I am in my body; I am with my thoughts and feelings. I sit but not yet hit the ground. I want to feel more grounded these days. But too much thoughts and worries pull me away from the present moment. Oh be patient, breathe, let go.
Today is a day of goodbyes, or maybe better said, a day of changes. Both the meditation challenge and my yoga teacher are transitioning into a something new. Who knows what is next. My yoga teacher, who has taught my dad and I for the past four years, is starting a studio closer to his home and hence leaving the studio I attend. I felt sad about saying goodbye and yet at the same time so much warmth and appreciation for his classes. I also was happy with myself because I had the strength to say goodbye and express to him how much I have grown in and enjoyed his classes. It was a bitter sweet moment and I am so happy I experienced it exactly as I felt in that moment. In the past I would have avoided a goodbye, by either not showing up to the last class or left right after. Today I felt lucky that I had the opportunity to share with him how much I enjoyed the classes. Would I have done that if he continued to stay at the studio? Probably not.
So here is my opportunity to say thanks to you for supporting my practice! Thank you for the challenge. I feel that I grew a friendship and meditation companion with Yishin. When meditation got tough, reading others experiences and receiving comments was incredibly encouraging and enlightening. It gave me the feeling that I am not the only one experiencing the struggles, humor and varieties experiences that are revealed through the process of meditation... duh?. I did my best to be honest and authentic with myself, and still have a ways to go, but will continue to make that commitment to myself and the practice.