I feel slightly calmer today during my sitting. Yesterday’s storm has passed. And this is a new day. I have a big deadline to meet and I feel very nervous. But I keep gently pulling myself back the nourishing ground I call home. Meditation has helped me feel safe at times of anxiety. I know that even though bad things happen, there is still a joyful and loving home in me. I can come back anytime I want and feel rested, loved and settled. It’s the matter of having the courage to come home and dwell in it :) And today, I tried.
I think that sometimes people confuse the fact that I practice mindfulness and meditation for me being a mindful person so I thought it would be a good time to set the record straight :) I feel that mindfulness and meditative practices are useful and an important part of my days, but in no way do I claim that I am mindful. Actually sometimes I can probably be one of the worst offenders of mindlessness or not being present.
Today I’m struggling with being present. It seems that my body is stiff and the lights are on but no one is home. I am trying to ground myself by recognizing my breath, feeling my feet on the floor, again and again and again. Change cannot happen fast enough.