I wish I had read this week's chapter about emotions before today. I know, I know--we were supposed to finish the book before February and just read the meditation instructions as reminders. But, if I always finished everything on my to-do list, I probably wouldn't need to be reading a book called Real Happiness.
So anyway, rather than mindfully play with my kid OR sit quietly to read the book, I tried doing both at the same time this morning and had a really powerful experience of reading something quite relevant.
You see, I am a dweller. I can dwell on something like nobody's business. Sometimes, something unsavory will happen and my husband will cringe--not because of the event, but because of the months of analysis he'll have to endure as I pick apart the event, my reaction to it, and others' responses.
Combine my endless dwelling with my sleep deprivation and tendency toward anxiety and you are left with a steaming mess of a human being when faced with what a therapist once helped me coin a "staircase day." (You know, the kind of day where one thing sets off another bad thing until you are tumbling down a marble staircase of drama)
Wouldn't it be wonderful to RAIN my way through difficult encounters?
I'm having just the sort of day today that would generally send me into a spiral of dwelling, doubtfulness, and anxiety. It was with great pleasure that I thumbed through the "Meditation on Positive Emotions." I am so looking forward to sitting with this meditation later. I'm trying to do mini-meditations throughout the day to make my heartbeat slow or just so that I don't blurt out potentially-damaging statements.
In preparation for my meditation on positive emotions, I've been reminding myself of a few good things that happened today each time I feel my thoughts getting away from me. A preview: the sun is shining in Pittsburgh! I got a new issue of my favorite magazine in the mail! My socks are really comfortable today and make my feet feel really, really nice!