Remember that Kubler-Ross stages of grief thing? I remember it in the context of that movie, "All that Jazz."
I don't like models like this because I interpret them as being a template, instructions on how I should be feeling. The next logical step is the realization that YOU ARE GRIEVING WRONG. When I think about this week, it seems as if I started off with acceptance, but am now moving on to anger.
Leave it to me to work these in the wrong order. Although if I start dipping into Denial or Bargaining at this point, it would be time for medical intervention. Or some science fiction writing.
Today I meditated with my yoga class with Gina. She encouraged us to look for pockets of tension or holding and I found them. I think they were everywhere except maybe my left ankle. She wisely pointed out that it might take us years to know what they are, but the first (huge) step to awakening is recognizing them. To paraphrase her, we've spent so long holding them that we don't even know they're there.
But the awareness becomes a responsibility. Once you know there is a different way, then there is a choice to make.
That's big and scary.
With gratitude to Gina.